


It's Just Life

by AngelOfDeath10



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21051827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfDeath10/pseuds/AngelOfDeath10
Summary: Life goes on even when a loved one dies, but for Kaoru it feels like she's stuck between the past and the present. With everything the same but totally different at the same time she picks at a scab on her heart only to find that the only person who really gets her pain is the one she was always told to avoid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. You would know if I did because Rurouni Kenshin would have ended very differently.
> 
> Originally written in 2014.

Kaoru made it to lunch before she lost it this time. Yahiko had been trailing after her as usual trying to get her to promise to play doubles with him so he didn't have to get paired up with Tsubame again, (he was useless when they were on the court together) but she just didn't have it in her to hold her emotions in check today. Opening her locker, she spared the barest of glances at the mirror she had mounted inside and saw her red eyes with the bags under them. No amount of makeup could hide it from herself.

"Go away, brat!" She gave his shoulder a push and he practically flew into the person next to them. Yahiko gave her that look that she was going to hear about this from Kenshin soon enough, but he had to know she didn't mean to push him that hard! The kid had to barely weigh as much as her, and the huge backpack he wore made him top heavy. The dumb freshman tattled on her for everything to Kenshin, and then she'd have to talk to him. Oh god, she'd rather just skip tennis practice today than talk to Kenshin.

"Kenshin is going to tell you the same thing. I wouldn't bug you but he said I should partner with you. He thinks you can actually teach me some things, which is totally crazy!"

"Maybe I don't want to come to practice today. You'll just have to cope." She sounded childish, she didn't care. Her bag of lunch was crumpled in the back of her locker and even though she was hungry she left it there as she rearranged her books. They were in good enough order already but Kaoru needed to do something with her hands before she lashed out for no reason.

From the way he was turning red Yahiko was about to say something he would regret. "You're just afraid people will see your fat legs, ugly!"

Already on edge Kaoru's eye gave all of one twitch before she dropped her algebra book and lunged for him, hands like claws. They went down together and she knew she was yelling random obscenities when someone pulled her off of the kid who took the opportunity to pick himself off the floor and make a run for it. Surprisingly it wasn't a teacher, as she feared, but Sano. It just had to be one of Kenshin's friends-she would have preferred the teacher.

"Take a breather and chill!" Strong from basketball, he held her in place until her rage was just a quiver in her muscles. Without the anger she could feel the tears beginning to threaten behind her eyes and she fought the burning sensation. "You're lucky I'm here, you could have been in real trouble! Trust me." He'd been hauled into the office enough times for fighting, and she had never seen someone serve so many consecutive detentions last year. For being such a nice guy, the junior had some anger issues of his own to work through but he was making progress. Another disciple of Kenshin.

"I'm fine, let me go."

"Want me to go get Megumi, you like you need someone to talk to…" and he was not volunteering for the task. Normally Megumi's sharp tongue and clever observations made her laugh, but she was the last person she wanted seeing her right now.

Picking up her book now that the hallway had cleared out with small circles of friends chatting on their way to the cafeteria or the field, Kaoru looked up into Sano's brown doe-eyes and resisted the urge to run. Kaoru knew that if she ran Sano would chase her down with those long legs of his and it would just be another reason for Kenshin to come talk to her. That was entirely unacceptable. Kenshin couldn't solve all her problems, even if he wanted to try his hand at it. She was not a little sister for him to come flying to her rescue at every little bump in her day.

Straightening out her favorite purple band tee and brushing off her jeans, she collected herself together and announced the one thing she knew would get rid of Sano quickly.

"I'm fine, just go eat lunch. I need to go to the bathroom." Slamming her locker closed, Sano watched her go until she rounded the corner to the ladies' room. Just about everyone was at lunch and she had no one there competing for a mirror as she redid her high ponytail. Even if she liked it long she admitted she needed a trim as she felt how dried out it was. The split ends she saw made her cringe and her bangs were starting to obscure her eyes.

More makeup would be useless, she just looked tired. All the more reason she needed a strong front. Even when life falls down around you, you can't give up. Her dad told her that and to do anything less than succeed would be an insult to him, don't try when you can do. He was expecting her to be a daughter he could be proud of. Cringing, she reframed her thoughts in that slow deliberate way she had had to reframe her words the past month. He had expected her to be a daughter he was proud of. Past tense.

"Shit." The tears had started before she had even noticed and she could hear some girls rounding the bend towards the stalls. There was no time so she swiped at her wet cheeks and kept her head down as she practically barreled into them on her way out.

Unthinking, she twisted down the rest of the sophomore hallway and past the junior hallway only to take a side door that opened to the back of the building, next to the gym, and eventually to the field outside. She wasn't in the mood for soccer; she just wanted to be alone. A cement staircase that led up to a second floor door looked like a good place to hide and cry, and she was rounding the corner at full speed when she skidded to a stop on the bald soles of her yellow tennis shoes.

"Kamiya," the word hissed through his teeth along with the smoke from the cigarette he was exhaling.

"Yukishiro." She had thought he was suspended, or expelled, but she supposed the Yukishiros had enough money to keep him out of trouble. His platinum hair was starting to turn black at the roots but he didn't look any less alien with his aqua eyes pinning her to the floor. There was no way his eyes were that color, but she doubted he would wear contacts and glasses both.

"You had your look now shove off." He took a drag of his cigarette and leaned back more on the cement steps, elbows propping him up, arm muscles bulging below his rolled up sleeves. Sinfully handsome, it was marred by a bad attitude and multiple almost scrapes with the law. Just because he hadn't been caught yet didn't mean he wouldn't be eventually.

His sudden dismissal banished her tears neatly and all Kaoru could really think was that if she had been spoiling for a fight, here was someone who would give it to her. No one would break it up or tell her to be sensible or calm down. Kaoru could well and truly lose it here, with this villain, and who would blame her? Drawn to his darkness, her sorrow channeled to rage.

"Where are you friends? They all finally get kicked out?"

Enishi had been staring at the clear fall sky and continued to do so as he shrugged expressively from his prone position. She apparently didn't even warrant his attention yet. Well, Kaoru was going to get her release now that smashing tennis balls couldn't put a dent in her mourning.

"Daddy not rich enough to bail them all out?" Enishi looked up at that, startled that she would talk about his family's influence so brazenly. He sat up slowly, eyes narrowed at her. If anyone looked like a predator, it was this man, and she had his full attention now.

"Shall we talk about fathers, Kamiya, because if memory serves me you don't have one anymore." He emphasized his shot to her heart with a flick of his cigarette in her direction. It rolled to a stop right by her foot, and she stomped on it so hard it shock the ground a little.

The tears wanted to burn but she stuffed them back into her throat and ground out a response instead. "Fuck you, Enishi."

"I'd consider it," he said with a manic grin as he lay back down to stare at the sky.

She could feel the sob in her throat and as if she could get revenge for that display of weakness she stepped forward and kicked him hard in the shin, right above his combat boots. He came alive so fast she would have sworn he was inhuman. Kenshin had told her to watch out for Enishi before, and she hadn't really given any weight to that warning until now. He was a bogeyman, a name people gossiped about. Everyone knew he was in a gang. Everyone knew he did drugs. Everyone knew he was an evil person. Everyone knew it so it had to be true, and today Kaoru wanted to dance with the devil.

"Even if you're a cop's kid, he can't help you now. I'll tear you apart." He was practically on top of her, and all that was behind her was a ledge and a two story drop onto asphalt. Enishi was a head taller than her, taller than a seventeen year old had a right to be she thought, and in his army surplus pants and shirt he looked like a soldier on edge.

"Do it!" She didn't care, she wanted to invite pain in. After a month of crying and not sleeping, of ignoring looks of pity and dodging questions about her health she was ready for something real. She wanted a bruise she could watch heal, instead of feeling one inside she wasn't sure ever would. Her father may have taken the bullet but Kaoru got all the pain from it. "Hit me, I dare you."

There were the tears again, streaming down her face uninvited. A very wet sniffle followed soon after which she indulged in rather than have the snot drip out of her nose. He was going to do it, she saw his muscles clench and she braced for it with open eyes. Then all at once she saw something in his demeanor shift and he withdrew from her to crouch back by the stairs she had found him on. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it as he spoke to her without looking.

"Crazy bitch. Get out of here before I change my mind."

Shaking, crying, enraged and unsatisfied even if she was also relieved she said the first thing that came to her mind. "Coward."

As she retreated from his back she was waved off with his upraised middle finger.

"And I can see your roots!" she yelled, as if that were some sort of comeback. She would smash her face into her pillow that night over how stupid she sounded later.

***

"Kaoru!"

She stifled a groan as Misao came barreling out of nowhere, braid flapping behind her, once Kaoru stepped out of history class. There was still practice to dodge and Kenshin was so darn fast he would find her if Misao was chattering at her. Usually Kaoru could just point in a random direction and claim Aoshi was there and Misao would take off like a hound after a fox but Kaoru saw the gleam in her eye and knew she wasn't going to shake her so easily.

"I heard from Taki who heard it from Sakura who heard it from Shina who was bringing the soccer balls out to the field from the gym that he saw you talking to Enishi Yukishiro. You have to tell me if it's true or not or I think I'm going to die!" Misao pulled at the corner of her short skirt, a nervous gesture that usually made Kaoru laugh, but today nothing seemed funny.

"You're not going to die…" Kaoru was trying to move to her locker in a sideways scurry while practically whispering to Misao around the din of end of school activities.

Misao got all breathless. "So it's true!"

"I didn't say that." Kaoru hastily entered her combination, wishing her fingers to fly faster around the lock.

"So it's not true?" Misao looked incredibly disappointed at this thought, her cherubic face twisted into a frown. She looked a lot younger than sixteen and normally Kaoru would redirect by pointing that out and getting into a mock fight, but misdirection sounded too tiring and she might as well come clean.

"I didn't say that either." The excited shriek Misao gave was cut off as she clapped a hand over her own mouth.

Kaoru wasn't moving fast enough, and she spared a quick glance at the mirror in her locker before pounding her hand down on the base of it in frustration. His red hair was visible before he was, and Miaso naturally stepped aside as did many other sophomores who couldn't believe a senior would even appear in their hallway. Kenshin was as handsome as always, his smiling face answered by smiles all around him. Star of the tennis team, most popular guy in school, humble, nice, and oh so out of her league. As usual, Kaoru's heart ached to even be seen by him.

"Hi Kenshin…" Her voice thinned out, sounding weird. She was as incapable of being normal around him as she was of stopping the rapid beat of her heart.

"Kaoru, I heard some really troubling things today and I wanted to make sure you were ok." Nothing but shining sincerity, and a warm hand on her shoulder. He was no dummy, he knew exactly what went on today because Sano would have told him, and he had probably heard the Enishi rumor too but his first question would always be about her. She had learned last year that his selfless concern was not for her alone, and the only person that ever caught his attention the way she had wished to was Enishi's sister. And Tomoe was too perfect to be real. Kaoru couldn't compete with perfection.

Waving him away with a weak smile, Kaoru tried to ignore Misao practically oscillating with excitement next to her. "I'm just not feeling good today, I'm going to head home."

"You know you're always welcome to come back to the team when you're ready. You have my number right? You can talk to me anytime, you know that right?" The whole team had his number, and a month ago she might have melted into a puddle of happiness that he had spoken to her let alone asked her to text him. But this Kaoru, brittle and angry, felt cheated. This moment was supposed to be a triumph and instead all she could think of was Enishi's middle finger waving at her from the stairs.

She shrugged out from under his hand and gave her best attempt at a smile. "I know. I'll talk to you later Misao." Kaoru shut her locker with finality and took long strides towards the exit. She needed to get out of here, and fast, before Kenshin's kind smile broke her. Misao sputtered, telling her to wait, but Kaoru lengthened her strides as if she hadn't heard.

If she was home before dark her mom would say something. Kaoru needed to keep the same schedule so that she wouldn't know she had stopped going to practice. The tennis courts weren't an option, and since it was getting darker in the evenings she couldn't very well go to the park and text like she had been doing. School was safer, but she knew too many people and she didn't want to talk to them either. Almost with a mind of their own her feet brought her to the base of the steps from earlier. Secluded, no one would bother her here, and there was no possible chance she would encounter Enishi again.

"You again, what is your problem?" It seemed lightning could strike twice.

"Do you even go to school here? I mean, do you have classes or do you just sit here all day?" No longer on the edge of tears, she let her resentment show through. "Never mind, I don't care." Hefting her messenger bag onto the opposite hip, Kaoru turned to walk back down the stairs and away from Yukishiro. She was mumbling curses and digging in her bag for her phone when she heard steps from behind her. Unconsciously, Kaoru sped up, but it wasn't too long before out of the corner of her eye she spied a shock of white hair. Damn his long legs.

"What's the hurry, Kamiya?" She turned quickly to watch him push his glasses up his nose. It was a shame he was such a bad person when he had such a handsome face. His sister looked like a model, too, all pale flawless skin and long dark hair. The younger brother was like her opposite, with tanned skin and his bleached hair, and as spiteful as she was selfless.

"Don't you have some petty theft to commit? Leave me alone." Brave words, when she didn't feel very brave. The sports fields were just a scream away but she wasn't sure she'd even get a scream out with Enishi involved. Aoshi would be out there, he might even remember who she was and come help.

That same crazy grin lit his face. "You wound me Kamiya. To assume I would engage in _petty_ theft."

She made a disgusted noise and turned sharply in the other direction. He followed her easily, so close his arm almost brushed hers. Continuing to dig into her bag again she finally pulled out her phone triumphantly.

"I need to make a call." She stopped walking and gave him her patented death glare. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he said, as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, obviously waiting for her to continue. "Pretend I'm not here."

"I'm trying." Kaoru grit out. Tapping out a quick s.o.s. to Kenshin all she got out was _Help, behind south gym, ENISHI_ before she noticed he was nosing over to try to see what she was doing. She firmly hit send while he was watching and then looked at him as if she expected him to do something.

Laughter was not what she expected. "Calling in the cavalry, all because of little ol' me? Why Kamiya, I'm almost flattered." He blew smoke in her face, making her cough, and she pushed him away from her. Solid as a rock, he grabbed her wrist and snarled. "You have a bad habit of thinking you can push me around."

"Let me go!"

"Or what, you'll use some of that cop judo your daddy taught you? Guess you'll have to teach yourself now."

His words cut deeper than the punishing grip on her wrist, and she twisted out of his hand while giving him a ringing slap. He could have dodged it easily, but he didn't. "You're horrible. Go to hell!"

"Already there, Kamiya, if you only knew." Angry and red where her palm had connected, he shot her a feral look. In the distance she could hear Kenshin's yell and she watched him charge in like a white knight. There was something in Enishi's expression that made her pause because it was so familiar, and then like a flash he was gone, scaling the chain fence next to the parking lot like it hardly existed and gone from sight before Kenshin could even see if she was ok.

"Kaoru! Are you ok? I thought you had gone home already." Kenshin's words spilled out of him as he caught his breath. He had sprinted over and he was poised as if he wanted to go after Enishi, but other than a few searching glances in the direction of the fence he stayed put. In the distance she saw Yahiko running towards them. Kaoru certainly didn't need any more attention than she had just gotten and her skin was crawling with the desire to get the heck out of school.

As usual, Kenshin's presence had melted down Kaoru's brain and all she could sputter out was the first lie that occurred to her, "I thought I had a ride, but I didn't. I just… ran into Enishi. What's his problem anyway?" It didn't explain why she was behind the gym, and it was so flimsy even she couldn't believe she'd said it, but here she was with Kenshin making soothing circles on her back. Touched by Kenshin twice in one day and all she could manage was the tiniest spark of enthusiasm, oh how far she had fallen from her old self.

Yahiko and Kenshin entered into a very serious discussion next to her in which her name was mentioned a lot but she totally tuned it out as she thought about Enishi's devastated face. It was the same look she gave herself in the morning when she got up: hating the world and hating herself. That she could share something in common with Enishi Yukishiro that had seemed so personal and private until seconds ago shook something in her core. If the world had shifted under her feet, she gave no indication other than a considering stare at the cement staircase.

"Earth to Kaoru, hey!" Yahiko waved a hand in front of her face but when he started snapping in front of her she rolled her eyes and actually started to listen to him. He was ridiculous in his neon yellow tennis shorts and school jersey. It was hard to feel like you had been in danger when someone like Yahiko was part of your rescue operation. "Kenshin just talked to Tomoe and she's going to give you a ride home. She said she wants to talk to you anyway."

Kenshin made his excuses once he was off the phone, but as captain of the team he really needed to get back to tennis practice. Yahiko said he'd wait until Tomoe got out of the after school program where she tutored children. Kaoru wanted to just run home, but her insistence that she could walk or catch a bus was met with gentle but firm resistance. Tomoe was going to drive her and that was the end of it. As usual it was impossible to say no to Kenshin.

"You just didn't want to have to play with Tsubame, did you?" Kaoru said with a smile when Kenshin was out of hearing distance.

"Shut up, ugly," Yahiko said, but there was no force behind his words.

***

It was a BMW, and it smelled new. Both of those things alone made Kaoru not want to set foot in Tomoe's small car. No doubt a present from her lawyer step-mother and politician father, Kaoru knew that she'd be bussing it until she could afford to buy her own car. Every now and then Sano or Megumi would pick her up in their respective beater cars, but she always felt safer on a bus. Sano's brakes made weird shrieking noises and Megumi drove like she was invincible.

Elegantly, because Tomoe did everything with elegance, she gestured for Kaoru to climb in while Yahiko tried not to let his eyes fall out of his head. He was star struck by Tomoe the way Kaoru used to be by Kenshin. Whatever inside of her had been damaged, she wondered if she'd get it back to normal or if she was just broken now. Death seemed so unfair, just as it was unfair she couldn't remember the last time she told her dad she loved him. In retrospect she hoped she had said it that day. He had to have known.

Once Kaoru was buckled up, Tomoe gave her a slight smile and shifted into drive.

"Kenshin said that Enishi approached you today." The car moved with barely a purr from the engine. Definitely a new car. Tomoe's voice was smooth and even, and Kaoru wished she could look and sound as adult as the Yukishiro girl.

Kaoru maintained silence until the first red light, while Tomoe waited with infinite patience. "Sort of. Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"I understand he might have… assaulted you."

Thinking back on it she supposed it technically counted, but she was the one who had hit him first today. Twice even, and she was the one who had approached him both times as well. It would be a messy he said she said if she tried to take it to any other level and she just didn't want to bother. Kaoru could handle herself just fine.

"He got a little hands on, but I think he just wanted to scare me." She could have said more but she didn't want to have to detail anything. The weird kinship she had felt to him made her protective of her memories, unreasonably so.

Tomoe visibly eased as she leaned back into her leather seat. A small sigh let Kaoru know the paragon of virtue had been holding her breath. "Enishi has been… troubled… for some time now."

Kaoru couldn't help but mumble, "Tell me about it," before she blushed and looked down at her lap. She knew a little bit about their family, and her sarcasm probably wasn't very kind.

"It's a right here, correct?"

"Yeah."

There was another stretch of silence and Kaoru stole a couple looks at Tomoe. Up this close she couldn't even see a pore, and her skin was impossibly fair and glowing. If ever Kaoru felt inferior, it was at this moment. Kenshin seemed a million miles away from her, with Tomoe in between them and she couldn't even hate the girl like she wanted to when she was being so decent. Tomoe was a princess from a fairy tale, and Kenshin was a match for her in every way. If Tomoe had a flaw it might be that she was a poor conversationalist. It was weird to Kaoru that there was no music on, no talk radio, no noise, no anything. The stillness was oppressive.

They pulled up in front of Kaoru's old house. None of the lights were on and the sun had already set, making the creaky family home look deserted. The ache in Kaoru's chest intensified and she knew this was what she had wanted to avoid today.

"Hey, thanks for the ride home. I'll try to stay away from Enishi."

"Kaoru," Tomoe's voice was slightly urgent and she was surprised the girl even remembered her name. "I'm afraid now that you have his attention and he knows you're Kenshin's friend he might try something. He hates Kenshin so much…"

Every pause in Tomoe's sentences seemed loaded. Kaoru had heard the rumors, but who knows what the truth was. Some people said he was in love with his sister. Some people said he'd accused Kenshin of abusing Tomoe. Everyone agreed Enishi was a nutjob. Whatever had gone on two years ago when Enishi was a freshman and the whole problem began was a matter for their permanent records and parent-teacher meetings. All she knew was that her dad had been there the night the police had been called, but all he had said at the time was that people were making a big deal out of a fist fight between a couple of teenagers.

"He acts as though I don't exist at home. I'm practically dead to him. So I can't help you."

"I don't need anyone's help." Kaoru said brashly. She hated feeling like a victim, and she was regretting texting Kenshin for help when she should have just punched Enishi in the face properly and showed him she wasn't going to be bullied by the likes of him. This whole day was a mistake, maybe getting out of bed had been the mistake. "Thanks again for the ride."

Tomoe looked like she wanted to say more, but Kaoru was out of the car like a shot and had her phone in hand before she even made it to her dark front door and push it open. It was unlocked, something her dad never would have tolerated, but it was always unlocked these days.

"Hey mom, I'm home," Kaoru tried to put some strength behind her words. "I'll heat up some dinner in a sec!"

Her mother sat in the dark living room, TV flickering as she almost catatonically watched whatever was on. Today it was the nature channel, but Kaoru knew her mother didn't care what meerkats did in their spare time. Ever since dad had died her mom had retreated into depression so far Kaoru might as well have lost two parents. If it weren't for all the food that people from the precinct and the community had brought them Kaoru would have had to order out every night, as god knew Kaoru couldn't cook to save her life. She had forced herself to love casserole in all its forms.

The quick text she had shot to Misao was almost instantly answered by five more all with multiple exclamation marks. She reassured her friend that she was fine and they'd talk tomorrow before she pushed open the door to her messy room and crashed facedown on her pillow. Kaoru flipped on the radio and listened to random commercials before a nice loud song with heavy guitar started up and she sat up wearily on her bed. Bringing her pillow to her face she screamed her day's frustrations out until the song was done. Her throat ached and her head throbbed, but nothing was any different otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

Before school Kaoru was reassuring Misao that whatever happened yesterday was just an aberration. She was not losing it, she was not secretly meeting up with Enishi, she was not in a self-destructive spiral, and she certainly was not going to keep things from Misao until she heard them from Taki. The idea that Misao would be the last to know anything about her best friend was just killing her, and Kaoru allowed herself to be cheered up by her perky friend. It was hard to feel sad when Misao was spazzing out next to her.

"You think I should get a haircut?" Kaoru poked at her bangs while she looked at herself in the mirror in her locker. Near it were pictures from the tennis team, (mostly ones that had Kenshin in them though they looked innocent enough) and others of Misao and Kaoru making silly faces. Tape strips showed where family pictures had been until recently because Kaoru had found it was too hard to stare her happy family in the face every day when it felt like a lie. She lived enough lies at the moment that one more would have been the last straw.

"Nooooooo, don't do it!" Misao tugged at her braid and played with the tuft at the end before tossing it behind her again. "You look so good with long hair!"

"Yumi cut her hair short and dyed it red, and she looks amazing," Kaoru countered.

"Yumi would look amazing no matter what," Misao said with clear envy. "Even if she does wear too much makeup."

Kaoru felt someone tap her shoulder and she turned around to look into the long ugly face of Gein. Misao made a face like she had just bit into a lemon as she noticed the tall scrawny junior. His stick thin body was covered with the usual oversized black clothing, a huge skull standing out on his shirt. Gein didn't talk to people in the halls so lots of curious and nosy stares were suddenly directed their way while simultaneously pretending like they weren't looking. Gein seemed to be sweating, as if he wanted to be there about as much as Kaoru wanted him to be there: not at all.

"He said, find him at lunch or he'll find you after school. Same place. Whatever that means." Gein's adam's apple bobbed in his stork-like neck as he spoke to Kaoru but he spared a special scowl for Misao who stuck her tongue out at him before he walked away again.

"What the heck was that about?" Misao asked, and Kaoru saw people whisper and laugh to one another. It seemed she was going to top the rumor mill this month same as last month. Maybe she should stay home for a week and pretend like nothing else existed, just like her mom was doing.

"Enishi." Kaoru said darkly, definitively.

"Omg, I'll go get Kenshin and he—"

"NO!" Kaoru yelled, adrenaline surging through her. She didn't want Kenshin involved in this, she was going to solve her own problems without him. "No, don't tell Kenshin."

Misao bit her lip hard and looked completely unconvinced. The bell rang and Kaoru grabbed her lit book. She'd have three whole periods of class before she went to find Enishi. No amount of promises to Tomoe or Kenshin were going to stop her. Finally having a tangible issue she could tackle was a relief. Enishi was like the answer to a prayer she had no words for, even if everyone else saw it as a disaster.

***

It had taken most of lunch to give everyone the slip. Misao was going to stick to her like glue, come hell or highwater, and Kaoru had to choke down her soggy PBJ sandwich while Misao talked a mile a minute about how if Enishi touched a hair on her head she would call school security. One cafeteria table over she could see Yumi and Shishio, who would normally never pay her any attention, stare at her in a way that made her think she was going to catch fire. Shishio was just as scary as Enishi, if not more so, and if he was taking notice then there was something about this meeting that Kaoru wasn't totally understanding yet. Yumi was in their year but she looked a lot older than most girls their age with her exaggerated curves and overly made up face. When they were in middle school and Yumi was just spotty and miserable with a twenty year old body and a fourteen year old face, she and Kaoru had been friends. Freshman year had been so different for both of them, with Yumi falling in with a "bad" crowd and Kaoru spending her every waking moment with the tennis team. Misao would bop around between the tennis courts and the soccer field and talk to everyone, but Yumi practically disappeared. Kaoru felt that twinge of loss she often felt as Yumi leveled a knowing stare in her direction.

"They're all staring at you." Misao said in a stage whisper.

Kaoru tried not to bang her head on the table in frustration. "I know Misao, thanks."

"Sano texted me earlier, and so did Megumi, they said you weren't responding to them at all. Did you turn your phone off?"

"It's in my locker. And why are you texting during class?" Kaoru had long ago given up trying to scold her friend. She had her phone confiscated every other month anyway, so she had to know she had a problem.

Misao ignored the question and surged forward with her own. "Do you have any idea what Enishi wants from you? You're being pretty cagey about the whole thing." Picking up a potato chip, she crushed it and watched the pieces fall back into the bag before tipping the whole bag against her lips. Misao's eating habits always grossed Kaoru out, but she knew she had her own issues and her friend stuck by her anyway so weird quirks were easily forgiven.

"It's complicated."

"OMG what if he likes you. Wouldn't that be the worst?"

Kaoru shockingly was less disturbed by that prospect than she should have been. "Yeah, I guess, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what this is about."

"I still can't believe you hit him."

"Please stop saying that." Kaoru felt miserable: miserable that she lost control of herself, miserable that she had lashed out at someone, miserable that that someone probably wanted revenge.

Misao, naturally, ignored her friend's anguish. "I don't really think he'd hit a girl though. I mean… he's evil, but he's not barbaric."

"I'm glad you have so much faith in him, really, sets my mind at ease." Kaoru's sarcasm didn't even touch Misao who was busy ripping her sandwich into bite sized pieces.

Kaoru stared at the last part of her lunch with disgust. She had been losing weight she couldn't afford to lose recently. Everyone said she should eat more because she was starting to look frail. They all used the same word too, as if they had all decided together that she needed to know she was wasting away. Maybe if they had just said she looked sick, or weak, then it would have gotten her to think about eating a little more. Cooking was what her dad loved, that could have been part of it, and sometimes she just didn't want to feel full. Kaoru's stomach turned over despite her willing it not to, and she decided that there was an element of nerves to it today too.

"Hey Kaoru," Yumi's dusky voice derailed her thought train neatly. "Can I borrow her a moment, Misao?"

Misao nodded dumbly as Kaoru got up and followed her old friend over to Shishio who was practically holding court at his cafeteria table. His little brother Soujiro, a freshman, was talking with some of Shishio's senior friends with a cheerful grin but no one else looked familiar. Mostly surrounded by his student council, they politely ignored Kaoru. When he had been elected class president last year Kaoru had vaguely remembered the weird impassioned speech he gave, but now that she wasn't encountering him in a gym full of people she felt decidedly uncomfortable with his intensity. Yumi sat down next to Shishio and met her eyes with something like pity. Kaoru thought about turning on her heel and marching right back to Misao.

"Kaoru Kamiya?" Shishio directed the question at Yumi, who nodded. What a jerk, he couldn't just ask her himself?

"Well, I'm here, what do you want?" Kaoru folded her arms over her chest defensively.

Shishio tented his fingers and Kaoru wanted to laugh, but kept that to herself. "I was just curious. I'd never even heard your name until a month ago and now it's all I ever hear, especially the past couple of days."

"And I suppose you're going to warn me about Enishi, too. Kenshin and Tomoe beat you to it, but it's nice to know our student body president is so concerned about the little people." Despite herself, she was hurt that Yumi had never mentioned her when she still considered her a friend. Kaoru's loyalty was easy to win and hard to lose, but Yumi was on the cusp.

Shishio seemed to be amused at her sass. "I admire Enishi in some respects, he's very effective when he has a goal in mind. He's not everyone's enemy, though, he wouldn't spread himself so thin."

"Just Kenshin's." Kaoru said it out loud instead of thinking it, and she saw Shishio's grin spread wider on his face. He reminded Kaoru of a snake and she wondered why Yumi was so infatuated with the guy.

She looked back at Misao to see that her whole group of friends had crowded around Misao and Kaoru's abandoned lunch. Even Aoshi had showed up, and Misao was practically in heaven telling them everything she knew. Megumi and Sano were making large gestures at one another, clearly arguing, and Kenshin was in the center of it all trying to organize everyone. This was the best chance she was going to get to slip away.

"I'll have to catch you later, Yumi. It's been too long." Kaoru practically ignoring Shishio to run from the room would probably cost her later, but she didn't have time to think of anything but the moment. Her sneakers squeaked as they hit the linoleum and before she knew it she was out the door and facing the base of the cement stairs that led up to the only other boy she knew other than Kenshin that got her heart pounding even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

Kaoru winced as the end of lunch bells went off and not too much later Gein wandered down past Kaoru, who he looked at with some combination of disdain and surprise. She wrinkled her nose in his direction and rubbed her arms to get rid of the goose bumps that had popped up on her arms while she stood there and let her blood cool after her run. When she finally got herself together she took the stairs two at a time to find Enishi in his spot.

"You're late." He was staring at the sky, and she wondered how he even knew it was her.

"But I'm here."

"Don't you have class?" Enishi sat up and she noted smugly that she couldn't see his roots today. Proof that the gangster had vanity made him less scary already.

"Don't you?" Kaoru countered swiftly.

Enishi shrugged and this time she noticed how his muscles shifted, for pretending to be so lazy he had to work terribly hard for that body. "Special schedule."

Kaoru rolled her eyes. Even if the teachers called her home about skipping class, her mom probably wouldn't pick up the phone. Everyone had been expecting her to crack anyway so her father's death would instantly excuse her lapse and in a way that's why she was here right now anyway so it wouldn't be a real lie. Brick by brick she had walled off her heart to thoughts of her father, but Enishi bypassed her defenses and set her back at square one. He didn't pity her, he didn't care about hurting her feelings, being around him felt like freedom and she hated herself for what she realized was a silent criticism of all the people who cared for her.

"So?" She should have taken a sweatshirt with her today because it was too cold and she was rubbing her arms to find some warmth.

"So?" Enishi stood up, unfolding with his feline grace as he took a step towards her. "Everyone built a bubble around you once I so much as looked at you, maybe I want to know why you're so special."

"I'm not special," she said quickly, fiercely.

Enishi snorted, clearly disbelieving her. He stood in front of her and reached behind her to slide her hair band down until it released all her hair around her. Through it all she didn't so much as blink until he twirled it on the edge of his finger in front of her and shot it out over her head towards the gym.

"I have more in my locker." Kaoru informed him flatly, not allowing herself to be intimidated by him today. She said she could take care of herself and now was her chance to prove it.

"You look better with it down." Once her hair had settled down her back, flowing almost to her waist, his glare had become less amused and more considering. He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose before he reached into his pocket for a cigarette.

Kaoru straightened her spine to gain every bit of height she had as she said, "Don't smoke around me, it's disgusting."

Having just lit it, he took one puff which he blew above the both of them and then flicked it off the side. "Better?"

"What's your problem?!"

"I could ask you the same thing. Here I am, enjoying a life without any people in it when you run up here crying, assault me, dare me to do the same to you, run off, and practically repeat the whole process a few hours later." Enishi sneered at her. "My sister," he said the word mournfully before he resumed his acidic tone "Drove you home personally and Shishio had the nerve to ask me about you this morning which tells me that while everyone is in love with that ginger asshole you're some sacred cow in all this."

Kaoru did not like being compared to a cow. "And what about you, walling yourself off like you're the only person who has a hard life. Maybe you should be telling me why you're so damn special!" Her temper was getting the better of her. She thought about the first time she had met Sano, when he was trying to pick a fight with Kenshin and she had stopped them both by standing red-faced between them and yelling at Sano like a drill sergeant. He had just stopped and laughed out of shock, but it had given everyone enough time to work out that Sano had not been hit by that tennis ball on purpose and as they all got a bite later they realized the hot-head was just a big teddy bear at heart. Somehow her trademark brashness probably wasn't the best move.

She saw him tense up and she wondered what it would take before he did lash out at her. Every one of her father's police friends would be on his ass if he so much as left one bruise on her but she knew that wouldn't mean much to Enishi.

"I'm smarter, faster, and stronger than everyone I know."

"I've seen who you hang out with, that can't be hard." She said it without thinking and he actually laughed. He didn't break eye contact with her as he stalked around her and continued.

"I could hurt you, badly, and not one of your little friends or your dad's buddies could touch me for it."

She was tired of his empty threats. "So what? We both know that already." Grasping at straws before this turned ugly as she could see his mood spinning in a dangerous direction she blurted out, "But what about something useful? Can you fix a roof, or build a deck? You might go home to a mansion every night and stalk around like you're hot shit but I have to deal with more real life than you ever did."

"You don't know anything." He was actually angry now and she thought he was going to punch her as his arm flew wide, but instead she felt the puff of wind from his movement as he lunged for the wall next to the door by the stairs instead. The plaster only suffered a bloody dent but his knuckles looked shredded. He took a deep shuddering breath and looked at her murderously.

It wasn't precisely true, she knew the facts and her father's suspicions. The Yukishiro's mother had died from a nasty fall down some stairs almost a decade ago and their father had remarried the same year that Tomoe got together with Kenshin, when Enishi was a freshman. The thing she couldn't speak of, something she had overheard her father say to her mother, the fall down the stairs didn't explain some of the bruising on the Yukishiro woman. Abuse wasn't an accusation you could throw at a man like Enishi's father, but Kaoru wondered how else someone like Enishi could end up so twisted.

"Come home with me tonight." She thought she hadn't said the words out loud but as his murderous intent faded to confusion she realized they had actually escaped. In for a penny… "Come home with me tonight. There's this rotten part of the back deck and I just can't figure out for the life of me if it's the one spot or the whole thing. Dad," her throat tried to close but she forced herself to keep going. "Dad was going to fix it this fall, but now I guess it's up to me. And if you're such a flaming genius with all these connections I'm sure you can figure it out."

The invitation hung heavy between them, while blood ran down between his fingers and dripped on the cement below. He gave her a perfectly blank look for a long moment.

"Get one of your friends to help you."

"I don't want them to help me," Kaoru said it emphatically because it was true. Like she wanted to see their sad faces as they pitied her even more, or hear those empty sad words that things would get better soon. "Here, you must have a pen, I need a pen."

Mechanically, watching her like she had grown a second head, Enishi took a black sharpee out of his pocket and held it out. Kaoru took it and when he didn't offer any paper, picked up the limp hand that was not bleeding and wrote her address out on his palm. As she touched his calloused hand she noticed her goose bumps smoothed out and she felt suddenly warm.

"I'll get off the bus around 5:30, 6 at the latest. Don't ring the doorbell, it doesn't work. Come by or not, but either way I'm not coming up here again." She dropped his hand and watched him push his glasses up the bridge of his nose while tracking her progress as she moved away from him and towards the stairs. Maybe if she went to the school nurse first and claimed cramps or something she could get a note to go back to class without any trouble resulting.

Kaoru turned to him, determined to say something clever before she left, but nothing came to mind. Feeling like an idiot, wondering if her instincts had led her wrong here, she closed her mouth and retreated down the stairs feeling like she had stuck a hand into a tiger's mouth only to come away unscathed. No one was that lucky, especially her.

***

The longer she left her phone off the more likely Misao would explode tomorrow, but Kaoru literally could not cope with explaining anything to Misao. It would be Friday, she could always just pretend to be sick. Getting her mother to call would be the hard part, as getting her mother to do anything these days was hard. The bus jostled her gently and she wondered at how easy it had been just skipping out the side door after class and bypassing her locker entirely. They would all be waiting for her there, her concerned friends, and all that she had really left behind was her phone, books, and homework. Homework could wait another day; her grades weren't exactly stellar anyway even though she worked hard for her B's and C's. Crap, if her phone was in her locker then she had to go to school tomorrow.

Her stop came up faster than expected, but what was even more unexpected was as she rounded the corner to her block she saw an expensive car with a white haired figure sitting on its hood smoking furiously near the curb in front of her house. In her heart she hadn't really expected him to show up, or if he had showed up she would have thought him the type to be late and make her wait a bit.

She knew he could see her and as she got closer she was amazed at how still he was sitting. Before she got within speaking distance he put out his cigarette and climbed off his car, some European sports thing with a logo she didn't recognize. Both he and the car looked totally out of place in her rambling neighborhood of fixer-uppers and minivans. One of his hands was partially wrapped in gauze and he had a thick looking olive jacket on.

Enishi met her eyes and while she wouldn't say he looked unsure he did look less confident than earlier today. That made two of them, only Kaoru knew she couldn't mask any of her own misgivings. It would be fully dark soon, she knew, so and somehow that lent a note of urgency to all of this. Enishi being here during the daylight was totally different than having a boy over at night. If her father had been alive she would have taken him in the front door and if he was home he would have met Enishi with a handshake and a smile. Then the interrogation would have followed, along with refreshments. If he hadn't been home then her mother would have stalled him with polite questions until he could come home and vet Kaoru's new friend. All of her friends had gotten this treatment before they could freely come and go at the Kamiya household. Would Enishi have passed muster?

With all those memories playing in the back of her mind, Kaoru took Enishi around the side of the house and straight to the back deck. It felt oddly illicit. They hadn't said a word to one another, but Enishi followed as Kaoru led and then pointed to the problem spot in her back deck. She hadn't lied to him, she really did need to fix the deck and didn't know where to start. Hiring a contractor seemed like a monumental task and she didn't want any strangers wandering in and out of her house at odd times. Where would she find the money?

The hole in the far corner of the deck brought a smile to her face as Enishi crouched over by it, prodding at the wood. "Last summer we were having a barbeque and Aoshi was standing there eating a hot dog when Sano jumped on his back. They crashed through together, just too heavy. Aoshi had to have a doctor pick all the splinters out of his legs." Her dad had driven them both to the hospital, yelling at them the whole way.

"From there to there," Enishi finally spoke when a few minutes had passed and he had walked the deck slowly and even crawled under the hole. "Your deck is fine. The rest of it has water damage. You must have used a cheap sealant or didn't weatherproof it recently. I can show you where you can see the rot underneath, but you'll want to change clothes first."

Kaoru stared at him, impressed in spite of herself.

"Do you know everything about everything? I honestly didn't think you'd be any help with this."

Enishi rolled his eyes. "Then why in the hell did you even ask me over?" He sounded exasperated as he dusted leaves and dirt off of his shirt and pants. The army surplus store must have loved his business.

"You want some milk and cookies? I know it sounds kind of dumb, but everyone who didn't bring a casserole brought us desserts and I just can't get through them all." She completely avoided answering his question by changing the subject.

"Why the hell would I want some—"

"And while you wait if you could move some of the deck furniture to safe spots since you know where they are would be super helpful." It was a trick she had learned from her mom. Promise a man food and give him a specific task while you get it. She had seen it work time and again. Enishi was grumbling but also walking up the deck stairs so it seemed even an evil genius was not immune.

Once she was through the back porch and into the kitchen she flipped on the light and called to her mother that she was home. It didn't feel right, coming in the back door of her own home like she was sneaking in. As expected, there was no noise from the front room besides the TV. Kaoru looked daggers at the plate of cookies saran wrapped on the counter and thought about throwing the whole plate on the floor just to see if that woke her mom up. What if she destroyed the whole kitchen? What would she do then?

In the end she dropped her bag on the kitchen table and poured two glasses of milk. Balancing the two glasses and the plate of cookies she pushed out of the back door to find Enishi sitting on one of the deck chairs and impatiently tapping his fingers on the arm rest. She put the plate on the wide deck railing and handed him the glass of milk which he took with a suspicious look in her direction.

"You want me to take a drink first? I promise you it's not drugged." Kaoru tried to make a joke but for a second she thought he would seriously make her drink first when he put it down next to him instead.

"Why am I here, Kamiya?"

Her empty stomach rumbled so Kaoru took a cookie for herself and munched down on it. Speaking with a mouth full of cookie she answered honestly. "I invited you. The rest is all in your own head."

_We're both hurting and misery loves company_, is what her brain supplied. It was unusually peaceful to have him here while she ate a cookie and watched the sky get dark. He pulled out his phone and texted furiously before making a disgusted noise and putting it away again. Maybe he had broken plans to come here, and she felt happy at the thought, but there was no proof of it.

"Kamiya,"

"Can't you call me Kaoru?"

"No," he snapped "Coming here was a mistake. I don't know what game you're playing but I don't want to be part of any of your manipulations!"

He stood and tossed the glass of the milk onto the lawn where it didn't break but did create a messy arc of milk over part of the deck as it flew. She would have to go search for it in the tall grass tomorrow, and who knows what gross thing would make a home in it overnight.

"Friendship is not manipulation!" Kaoru yelled back, almost toe to toe with him and craning her neck up, annoyed at his dismissal of her hospitality.

"I don't want your friendship." He ground out.

Her chest pumped like a bellows as she practically screamed at him "What do you want then?!"

In retrospect she shouldn't have been so surprised when he kissed her. Honestly, when she would think about it later after she knew more about him, she would wonder how he managed to wait that long in the first place. He leaned forward, curving her spine back and forcing her to press her chest against him. Their bodies melded together deliciously and Kaoru knew without a doubt she had thrown herself straight into the deep end without learning how to swim first.

Once they broke away he paused only long enough to tear off his heavy jacket and then lock her in an embrace that stole her breath before he eased his grip and met her lips again. Enishi made her forget everything except how messy her room was and how there was no way they could make it up there without having to answer some uncomfortable questions to her mother who would be rising from the couch to eat something soon. It was too soon for her room, at any rate, but he still made her think those delicious feverish thoughts and she might have caved in to the same impulses that were making his body noticeably react to their connection when a shriek broke through the veil of lust between them.

"Kaoruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" The yell was followed by pounding on the front door.

"What the hell is that?" Enishi's eyes were heavy lidded and he pulled her closer, possessively, as he crankily came back to earth as well.

"That," Kaoru said, pulling back from his embrace and realizing it was actually cold out here. "Is Misao, and if she knows that's your car out front then this is going to take a while. Everyone else will probably be here before too long, so unless you want to watch everyone lecture me about life choices you'd better go."

"Or you could come with me." He said it like it was the obvious choice, and she almost said yes right there to his bedroom eyes and hypnotic voice but before she could say anything Misao burst through the back door like a petite rocket. The front door wasn't locked, how could she ever forget that?

"You!" Misao looked like she was about to hyperventilate as she leveled a finger at Kaoru and Enishi in turn. "And you!"

Enishi cracked his knuckles and moved forward like he was going to throw Misao over the deck as easily as the glass of milk, an insane smile on his face, as Kaoru got between them.

"Kenshin will be here soon, and he'll fix all this. Kaoru, don't worry about this stalker!" Misao was as brave as Kaoru had ever seen in the face of a man practically twice her size.

"Fantastic, I've been waiting for this a long time, I'll fix Himura." He moved swiftly over to Kaoru and gave her the kind of kiss that felt like he took a piece of her soul with him as he withdrew. Misao looked scandalized. "And then I'll be back for you." He moved past Misao, brushing her away like a gnat, into the house. Kaoru stamped a foot on the deck, feeling her world spin out of control.

Picking up the cookies and her own empty milk glass she took a deep breath as she heard the front door slam. "Misao, get out your phone. I'm not letting this get out of hand. I just hope Sano and Aoshi get here before Kenshin because I can't hold both Kenshin and Enishi back for long."

"What should I do? How can I help?"

Kaoru only thought about it for a split second. "Get Tomoe's number from Megumi and get her here ASAP. If anyone can get them to calm down it would be her." She darted into the kitchen and dropped everything in her hands into the sink before purposefully rejoining Misao in back.

Watching Kaoru rip her hairband off and fluff her silky mass out curiously Misao then saw Kaoru rifle through things on the back porch as she asked, "What are you going to do?" while she texted Megumi furiously.

Feeling more alive and more herself than she had been in more than a month, Kaoru triumphantly lifted up the kitchen broom with the wooden handle and twirled it around to test its weight. It wouldn't stop an angry teenage boy but it might make him pause just long enough if she wielded it with enough force. Thinking about it just a little more she put the broom under her arm and grabbed the collar of her shirt. It was her yellow shirt with the cool chrysanthemum pattern running down the sides, and as she ripped a 'v' in it all the way down to the top of her bra she mentally consigned it to the dust bin.

"I'm going to distract Enishi." Kaoru answered gleefully. Life felt joyously out of control, and nothing could have seemed more normal.


End file.
